Friday, April 15, 2016

#thesesongsthough

I was lost
I was in chains
The world had a hold of me
My heart was a stone
I was covered in shame, when He came for me
 
I couldn't run, couldn't run from His presence
I couldn't run, couldn't run from His arms
 
Jesus, He loves me, He loves me, He is for me
Jesus, how can it be
He loves me, He is for me


 
 
 
Come out of sadness
From wherever you've been
Come broken hearted
Let rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can't heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can't heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You're not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

 
 






Tuesday, April 5, 2016

#learningeveryday

Well...there is 24 days left here at Ecola Bible School. It's been a great year, but I can't wait to get back into farming...
I've learned a lot about myself and Christ these past several months, but there's still SO much more!
Get ready to read, cuz here we go!

Last November, I got a tattoo that simply says 'surrender'. In my last blog post, I wrote a little bit about what God was teaching me with surrendering. Basically what happened was I was holding onto something too tightly that it started taking control of my life, when finally my heart was softened towards the idea of giving it to God. I never wanted to because I wanted to keep it in my hands because it was so precious to me, but it actually just kept tearing me apart. Finally, I gave it to God, and I felt so free and joyful because I gave Him what I thought was 'so precious' to me. That's the long story, short.
So because of that, I always wanted to be reminded of that time, so I got that word printed in my arm.

Well life went on and I began to hold onto more things, and I didn't want to give them up...(the human side of me...typical) xD
So, I found myself (finally after a while) giving them to God.
A few weeks ago, I thought I had given everything to Him....there was nothing left that I was holding onto...or, so I thought....
There was something distracting me, and I couldn't figure out what it was....I knew there was something I needed to let go of....but what??

After a while, it hit me....and guess what it was?
My iPhone.
Yup.
And why didn't I realize it?
I can tell you exactly why: because it was a way of life. It was stuck to me, glued to my hand, always there, it was an idol. I never knew how much it controlled me! I was in a bondage to my phone. It pulled me in, and kept me there.

**Now let me clear something up.....I'm not saying that all smart phones are bad. But they can be if it becomes an idol. This was just something God convicted me of, and I'm not saying you need to get rid of it....so anyways, lets go on.**

Smartphones are a way of this world. Everyone and their brother has one. Since I found out that it was controlling me...the only thing to do was get rid of it....but, as I thought about this, I was like- 'I can't do this! This is the way the world rolls'........and then I stopped myself.
The way the world thinks we are good enough is if we have a smartphone, and if we don't then you get looked down on.
Wait a minute. Am I worried what the world thinks of me?
Or am I worried about what God thinks of me?
I am not of this world, so that means I don't need to have Facebook or a smartphone. I have been so distracted with the flow of how the world thinks we need to live that I totally missed that God has been trying to get my attention.
Honestly, everything we have here on earth will soon be completely gone. I have tried to fit in and find my value in worldly things and in doing so, I left God behind. I was telling Him that I knew better. I was showing Him that, to me, Facebook was more important than spending time with Him. And how dare I do that to Him.
It makes me sick sometimes with how much I push Him away because I think I know better than Him....and in reality.....I don't.
But one thing that amazes me is every time I push Him away, He always brings me back to Himself and He never ever ceases to love me.
It overwhelms me with how much He loves me. I've been ignorant, I've rejected Him, I've ran away, I've made idols.....yet, He still loves me. He loved me so much that He sent His only Son whom He loved so much, to die a bloody, gruesome death on a cross....for me. It just amazes me.

So with all that....I have yet still to get a 'dumbphone'....but currently, I have taken everything off my iPhone....it can literally only text. Some day, I'll get back on Instagram and such, but for now, I want my focus to be where it should be. I want to enjoy life to the fullest.
Life isn't about pictures and how many likes you get, or how many followers you have. It doesn't define who you are. Yes, I thought it did...for a long time, and it was awful.
I am already loved so much by Christ, I don't need others' approval.

Again, I'm not telling you to get rid of your smartphone. But if its distracting you from reality, then take a break -- really, its awesome when you can enjoy life and not worry about snapping a story on snapchat so everyone can see how cool you are. ;)

So that's been the biggest thing God has been teaching me lately. ;)