Currently, I'm just finishing up my 7th week at Ecola Bible School. It's been amazing, and very rough. I have found out more about myself than I'd ever like to know. I've asked so many questions about life, and God. All together, it's been quite incredible. God continues to teach me everyday.
Now, this post may not make a lot of sense, but it's the times when I feel lonely, or whatever, that I come to writing. It helps me a lot, and it's very calming.
So with that.....
I started this out by asking some questions. They're all ones I need to stop and think about. They are new to me, as well. Being here, surrounded by amazing people all the time, you start questioning a lot of things. I compare myself a lot to people, and I'm deathly afraid of the thoughts of man. Then I ask myself why? Why should I care what others think?
From experience, it ruins everything. Having fear of man keeps you from doing a lot of things. You get self-conscious, and insecure. But why? I don't get it. Why would we do that? I mean, of course, it's fear of man, and we are afraid that we'll fail and others will laugh. But it's not supposed to be that way! I find myself telling myself that it doesn't matter what others think, it only matters what God thinks. I guess you could say you lose your identity when you compare yourself to others. Or maybe its because you don't really know who you are so you try and find yourself in those around you by comparing and then trying to be like them. Then when it doesn't work out, you feel insecure because you don't know who you truly are! Our identity is in Christ! I'm just now realizing this...
It's not in what others think, its only through Christ.
Another thing God has been teaching me is this, and I can sum it up in one word:
Yep. Need I say more? Just kidding....
This has been a big lesson, and ever since I started actually surrendering everything to God and giving Him my all, I've had so much joy! Of course there are still down times, but as I look back, I'm just super happy now. Giving God everything and not holding anything back, and letting Him take control and actually allowing for Him to do that, brings me peace. I have nothing to offer, everything I have is nothing.....compared to knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
"I surrender who I've been for who You are."
The song, 'Lift my life up' by Unspoken is amazing, but the chorus sticks out to me:
"I lift my life, lift my life up. I give it all in surrender. I lift my heart, lift my heart up, you can have it forever. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in Your hands. I lift my life, lift my life up, have Your way in me."
So I'll leave it at that. God is amazing, y'all. He really is.
Hopefully I'll be posting more, so watch out ;)
"Take my life and let it be all for You"